They had been in this situation before. They stood before the owner of the factory, a conglomerate of evil. Theirs was the industry leader for home enemas and when it came to rectal cleansing, there was no finer team. He was their king. Their lord. He was known by all who worked for him by his code name, the Silver Fox. His hair was white as snow and his eyes were windows to the black void that was his soul. They were a team of four in total. The Godfather, who was the most wise among them. El Conquistador, who was as white as the new-fallen snow but he spoke Spanish so hence the name. Craif, who had given up on life long ago and welcomed death. And then there was Day Day, who was kinda like Craif’s friend… or something.
“The fuck is this?” the Silver Fox asked with contempt. They had worked for weeks on this project but evidently he was less than pleased.
“That’s what we came up with sir,” said El Conquistador. He said it in English so as not to anger the Silver Fox.
The Silver Fox took a long drag on his cigarette and blew it slowly, and somewhat sexually into the air. He wasn’t supposed to smoke inside but hey, he owned the place. No one was going to tell him what to do.
As the smoke exited his lungs he calmly spoke, “Its horse shit, and I know a thing or two about horse shit.”
They had failed their master. Now their fate was sealed. The Silver Fox gave a tug on his chain made of solid platinum and out came The Baby. He wasn’t really a baby, mind you. Most likely a grown man that suffered from some form of dwarfism but he knew better than to cross the Silver Fox so he kinda just went with it.
“What should I do with them, Baby?” the Silver Fox asked with a tone that implied that the Baby would meet his doom if he got the answer wrong.
The Baby thought long and hard about his response, with self-preservation being a top priority.
“Spare them, my lord,” the Baby said with fear in his voice.
At the sound of this, the Silver Fox rose from his desk and ripped his own shirt from his body, revealing a chest tattoo of the Muppet Babies sinking on the Titanic, which was really bizarre.
“Hear me out, master,” the Baby gasped. “If you spare them now, you can torture them more in the long run.”
The Silver Fox thought long and hard about this. He stroked an imaginary beard on his shaven face. No one knew why he did that. He tweaked his own left nipple because that was, as he called it, his thinking nipple and it facilitated thinking.
The Silver Fox finally said, “Spare them now to prolong the torture later?”
“Yes!” declared the Baby, whishing all the while that he had stayed in Dental Hygienist school.
After a long pause, the Silver Fox said, “Man, hell yeah! I like your style, Baby.”
The group of four were relieved. They had evaded death yet again. Everyone was pleased except for Craif who really didn’t care if he lived or died. Suddenly, the Silver Fox pulled a basket out from behind his chair and sat it atop his desk. He removed the top and reached inside and removed a King Cobra. He flicked its head a few times to piss it off because, hey, why not? Suddenly, the cobra bit his arm. The Silver Fox didn’t seem scared. He let the cobra drain its venom into his arm and then put the serpent back into its basket. Then, he began to suck the wound.
He sucked the wound for what seemed like minutes. After each suck, he spat upon the tiled floor, which was a huge slip hazard. When he was certain that he had removed all of the cobra poison from his wound, he looked upon the group of four and said with a triumphant tone, “Only a brush with death makes me feel truly alive anymore. Now get the fuck out of my sight.”
The group of four turned without saying a word and left the office. El Conquistador puked in a ceramic pot in the hallway. Even after all the years he had spent seducing women in third world countries, he had never seen anything so disturbing.
The Godfather said with a chuckle in his voice, ‘Man, that was nothing. Back in my day he used to make us bite his arm.” They all uttered a nervous laugh. Hopefully, that would be the last time they would be called into his office for getting his Hungry Pelican order wrong.
As they walked down the hall they heard the chilling voice of the Silver Fox call out, “Baby… shut the door” and they knew the poor little guy was on his own.